Protected: secret 12

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To you, my dear friend…

I know you’ve been broken-hearted recently
you and your girl friend decided to break-up

And it’s not the first time I’ve seen you cry
there was that time with your first ex

But I’ve never seen you loose that much (although still so little) control
you cried on my shoulder although you’d rather bang your head on the wall

Even though it was a public place, I heed to your request
you asked to kiss me in an internet cafe and I said ‘yes’ but only because I know the type of person you are

I know I should not have even when you said “It was to compare”
I’m not her and your feelings for me are different, how could you expect it to be the same?

I’m not mad when you said it’s ‘not the same’ because it will never be the same
you love her like a wife while you love me like a child

But to tell you the truth, it’s not right
to still pretend that it no longer exists when both of you are still acting that it still exists

In the end, you’ll turn up like them
on and off, on and off, loosing self-respect and the respect others have

I know you’re different from them
your love is not corrupt you’re a gentleman while she’s a lady (while they are demons trying to be angels)

But both of you should have distance and time to reflect, to think
how can the separation be final when none of you are separated

Both of you need time to think about it and decide
maybe it’s not a break-up, the fire just went dim but the sparks are still there! You just need to feed it

Why don’t you talk about it? Ask each other what’s wrong
the best solution to everything (EVERYTHING) is to talk it out

And then maybe (it’s pitiful to say ‘maybe’ but that’s all I can offer) both (BOTH) of you will know the conclusion of this momentary illusion.

What I say is not to offend but it is not to offer encouragements. It is so that CLOSURE (closure is what they need, what they avoid, what they don’t understand) would be eminent (crystal clear) and to avoid childish (I say this is childish, your actions are childish, her actions are childish) antics and misunderstandings.

We (because there are so many of us) love you and her (you’re probably still pretending to avoid questions and answers and drama and pity comments and those stuff that are lies even though they are suppose to give comfort but how could they be comforting when they don’t understand? They are not in YOUR shoes). We are hurt by your masks but the ones who suffer most are both of you (it sounds cliché and repetitive but it is only so because no one listens). We don’t want you to suffer. You don’t want her to suffer. She doesn’t want you to suffer. You don’t want to suffer.

Talk it out, have some distance, stay away for a while, then decide.

I know you won’t listen, you won’t do, you won’t act but this is all I have to say because lying to you brings you (and her) no where.

And that’s all I have to say.

secret 11

I am exhausted and I hate (but not to the point of fury) May surprises…

Now, this is about the wedding thing I talked about. Well, not entirely about that but it did made a big impression on me.
My father told me one day that I was going to accompany him documenting a wedding. On the day, he said I’ll be documenting it alone. O.O Of course, I was so shocked because I have no idea how to video-document any kind of ceremonies starting from the preparations to the receptions and it’s not like any ceremony, IT’S A WEDDING CEREMONY! This only happen once in a lifetime (if one will stay faithful, that is) so this shouldn’t be documented by a total amateur. I hate it when my father managed to trick me (but I hate it more if I let myself be fooled by compliments and whiny tones and guilt). But since it was too late to back out (money involved here), I did the whole painstakingly amateurishly documentation and endured days of sleepless nights (for the edit and burning). In the end, they didn’t like the output. Ahahaha! Why would they like the output of a total amateur? I couldn’t say they deserved it because I believed it was my father’s fault and they’re just part of his scheming plot (despite the things I say about him, I still love my father). Oh well, I did what I can do although I didn’t give it my best because I did not do it willingly.

Another May surprise is the Catechism. I don’t hate this at all but I don’t like the people involved in it (the teachers, not entirely the students). Ate D is an old NYO (Nazareno Youth Organization, a youth org of our church: Jesus Nazareno Parish) member and has been a catechist for a long time (despite the tell-tales of the youngins how they don’t want her attending class). She’s scary, in a way and her goal is not for the children to understand but for the children to be able to answer the Quiz Bee at the end of the May. Sad to say, that somehow became my ’shadow goal’ when suddenly I’m the only remaining catechist left. ~_~
Good thing the students (ranging from 4 to 12) don’t hate me. And somehow (even though it’s a bit shallow) I try to let them understand the stories in the bible. ~_~ GOD! Please help me and guide me even though I’m a lazy teacher. T_T

Yes, I’m exhausted and reaching my limit. KKP wants me back, RISEN 8 wants me with them… But GOD is still important. Serving His church is the first thing to do. May I be able to serve Him to my and His heart’s content. And may I stop complaining.

Case 6: CDOtaku Character Profile

For the CDOtaku Manga Project…

Picture: *will be post soon when scanned*

Alias: Hikari

Series: CDOtaku manga

Height: 5 ft
Weight: 100 pounds (too light)
Age: 16 yrs old
Occupation: College Student, Cheerdancer
Course: Unknown
Favorite Color: Yellow
Favorite Fruit: Apple
Favorite Drink: Mango

Background: Hikari is not her real name but a name given to her by someone who goes by the name Messenger. (Her real name will never be revealed in the series/manga)
She is a cheerleader with a light body that makes her great for acrobatic performances.
Her past is vaguely expressed throughout the series but is never revealed.

It is known that she lives in a dorm near the college she attends and that her education is funded by a relative that ’she often visits during summer’.

Hikari fights supernatural with her alter ego in the ‘Inverse World’ (a world of black and white). When in the colored world (normal world), she regularly communicates with her alter ego resulting of her looking like she’s talking to herself by others’ point of view.

She starts learning of her alter ego’s existence when she first got a text message from a mysterious site. The message contains information about certain abnormalities regarding paranormals and it is her alter ego’s mission to either investigate or assassinate.

Misc. info: Hikari never reveals her name to the Messenger or to any other people (except family and classmates). She only tells them to call her ‘Hikari’.

Hikari likes to sew goth-looking dolls as a way to relieve stress. She also likes to wear black-colored earrings and various necklaces.

Although Hikari’s room looks dim and depressed (and often associated to a room inhabited by Emo or Goth people), her attitude resembles more of a loli, extrovert, fun-loving, bright-colored character than a lolitagoth, introvert, solitude-loving, dark-colored character.

Picture: *will be post soon when scanned*

Alias: Kage

Series: CDOtaku manga

Height: 5 ft
Weight: 100 pounds (too light)
Age: 16 yrs old
Occupation: Paranormal Assassin

Background: Kage is not her real name but a name given to her by someone who goes by the name Messenger. She is the alter ego of Hikari and exists only in the ‘Inverse world’ although there are times when she mentally converses with Hikari in the colored world.

She is the one doing the assassination/investigation of paranormal abnormalities whenever they are in the ‘Inverse world’. Her weapon is that of a large death scythe with bells attached to it. Hikari only assists her by watching out her ‘blind’ side.

It is not known how Kage existed (or how long she was aware) within Hikari but she once said ‘Every nice guy has a bad side inside them’. However, Hikari only knew of Kage’s existence after she received a mysterious text message. Kage is the one doing the missions despite Hikari’s reluctance saying that ‘this is her job and she must do it’ leacing no other explanation than that. It is not said that Kage knows anything about the mysterious site that gives them these missions or that Hikari has any idea of Kage knowing anything of it.

Misc. info: Kage is the total opposite of Hikari. Although there are not many opportunities to know her more, it is shown that Kage is withdrawn (wanting to be alone than to be with anyone), indifferent and violently psychotic.

> so far, chapter 1 is finished and I am now making chapter 2. There will special character appearances and stuff from other CDOtaku’s manga.

secret 10

I finally made the CDOtaku manga I promised months ago…

Some CDOtaku people (headed by Scarlet) decided to make a manga. The following wall of text is the proposal of NontensityScarlet (currently known as Car Crash Racer).

Hello fellow otakus, After several considerations and thinking,I would like to get your opinions regarding an official Cdotaku Manga.

Yes,It should be a real manga, with real manga content and real manga format.
Consider: We have a lot of mangakas in the making and talented fanfic writers.
And yes,if it pushes through, it will be done by Cdotaku members and the story will revolve around cdotaku members.

The original plan was:

In order to maintain a fictional story that will pass as a form of literature without having limitations in the part and contribution rights of some members (e.g. out of towners), I was thinking along the lines of having you people upload works of prose or even manga pages about your characters a.k.a. your animates selves. This will be the most crucial part since we will be starting from scratch, and your character data sheets will literally be our “scratch”.

We can then discuss continuity and plottings using the boards or ym conferences(a la editorial meetings) once each member is comfortable with his or her submitted character prose/manga info sheet. (Whichever works for you)

We could also have a poll regarding the story settings, other minor details and on the overview, the over-all genre.

Let me know what you think.

~ From the CDOtaku Thread: CDOtaku Manga Project.

The original plot line was that this should be similar to Eto rangers only that it involves CDOtaku threads and stuff. >_>

Anyways, I can’t post any more spoilers.

Case 5: Friends

Like every people, I, too, have my own set of friends. Whether they are from KKP-SIP, RISEN, or CDOtaku, I consider them precious and important…

FAMILY

• SOLIS: mama, tatay, tsini
• SOLIS extended: from my father’s side
• ARQUIZA: my tita Nene (mother’s side) children and grandchildren and greatgrandchildren

SCHOOL

• RISEN: Jen, HM, Ayet, Mads, Kar, Anj, Kim, Gil, Will, Pa, Go, Rei, Lei, GG
• SHJMS: Chin, Clar, Jem, Div, Fortitude, Gentleness
• HS: Archimedes, Aristotle, Dalton
• XU: ComSci Batch, Block mates

CDOTAKU

• CDOtaku Online Anime Community

KKP-SIP

• SVFP: Seniors and Batch mates
• FACULTY: FPO’s and Director
• NSTP students

CLUSTER 7

• CFC
• YFC
• SFC

secret 9

often, if not always, break self-made promises and schedules…

Everything that I planned this summer didn’t happen. Drawings, Tailoring, Writing, Playing and stuff didn’t happen. For once, instead of developing my art skills, my father took away our monitor for long periods of time hindering me from using photoshop and internet. Also, instead of writing to continue my stories in FF.net, I noticed the lack of story and character development that it brought me depression and writer’s block. Aha! I was suppose to go tailoring but then I got caught up in so many errands (pay the bills), involvement, problems (with RISEN, with self) plus brown-outs, rain and unannounced surprises (like the wedding thing).
Sadly, even after all this complaint, I don’t mind most of the distraction (specifically errands and involvement because it gives me a reason to meet up with friends and that’s most probably why there are problems emerged). However, I hate it when I’m being tricked into doing something that I honestly don’t like and will avoid if possible. Well, I didn’t talk to my father about the English Play incident so that’s why he didn’t think twice in placing me on the job of documenting. On second thought, this had nothing to do with money-related responsibilities (although there is a big amount at stake) but it eats up my time when I’m suppose to be preparing for Catechism. That’s also an unexpected plan on my part.
I did plan on going to Gawad Kalinga (I’m still waiting for their call) to sponsor a child via SAGIP but I didn’t plan on teaching catechism at Nazareno for Flores de Mayo. Not that I mind…

People are unpredictable creations of God… and God is also unpredictable in so many ways. Although the bible would provide enough information for a man to know God, physical words are still not enough to explain his power over Fate/Destiny/Hitsuzen. As what Gil reminded me, God’s delays are not God’s denials. And I always believe that God always answers to our prayers, even ‘NO’ is an answer but that only meant that something greater is meant for you.